Okay, so three words can’t kill you, right? I’m not even going to say them ‘cause I’d said them more times than I already should. They’d been my wish words, but you should never wish on just three words. Best to fill out the spaces. Get into specifics.
So the beginning. It had been a long week and it was scorching hot for the most of it, but I summoned what energy I could for this one thing, holding my ground – what little there was to hold. Let me tell you, doing something like that against my father took way more energy than I had. He’s a ‘back down from nothing’ kind of guy, but I’ve got his blood in me – apparently - and as much as I’d like to think otherwise, we share this one thing in common. I’m not the backing down type either.
Still, expecting imminent failure, I take this as a practice moment, a chance to hone my skills for something more significant, knowing of course, that something significant will one day come. It’s bound to, right? Life can’t just float along simmering at the edges without anything happening.
So it’s the moment of stare down. I’m staring. He’s staring. You’ve gotta try, otherwise you end up this vessel of nothingness, going along with anything and everything and completely loosing yourself to silence, and it’s a quick fall into oblivion once you’ve chosen that route. Why does that instantly make me think of my mother?