Saturday, March 17, 2012
LUCKY CRITIQUE ENTRY #5
TITLE: The Night
GENRE: Epic YA Fantasy
Taeon strode out of the trees, fists clenched in an effort to restrain the fire as he approached.
“Get away from her, Varloi,” he said through clenched teeth. The fire raged against his control, pressing in on him, wanting to burn this magician to the ground.
“I interrogate a prisoner,” the Varloi replied, unmoving.
The heat redoubled, and Taeon tried to think through its stifling presence, to consider the consequences. “Leave her, Varloi.” The fire licked at him, more insistent, and the invisible tongues of heat became claws. The noon sun saturated the air around him. He had to get rid of it, before it became too much to control.
The magician only smiled.
And then the heat recoiled, and light dimmed, flickering. The Master Varloi stood beside him, holding a small golden box. The metal inside glowed a deep, malevolent red.
The red metal drew more, though the heat was gone, pulling and grabbing at the fire that lived inside him until he collapsed. He shuddered with weakness, and with the pain like daggers of ice.
“Stop! You’re killing him,” Nari cried.
The Master Varloi closed his box slowly. “Very well.”
Taeon gasped, stealing back his breath. “What is the meaning of this, Varloi?” He struggled to pull himself up as warmth returned in an aching flood.
“As an ehkel of fire, an uncontrolled display of power would prove fatal to many among us, including our prisoner. It was my duty to the keralen to eliminate the threat.”
“I had it under control. And it is my duty to keep the prisoner safe from your methods, magician.”
“That has been removed from your responsibilities. You have proven yourself unfit to lead this mission, and, therefore, I shall be reinstated as master. You will obey me.”